Tremendous Blondette

It’s true, I was nearly arrested at the local coffee shop this morning as I enjoyed my almond poppyseed muffin and soy latte.

Having survived an intense week with my morale intact, but my energy slightly depleted, okay significantly depleted (is it naptime yet?), I decided there was no reason to change out of my Missouri State tee (it’s a privilege to be a Bear) and Snoopy (THE RED BARON!) pjs, nor did I feel it necessary to tame my bedheaded, floofy hair. (hey I showered before bed so I’m clean at least!)

I think my appearance was a surprise. I do generally muster up the initiative to at least put on a pair of jeans and a shirt and control my hair, but not today. Now that you have that pretty picture in your head, let’s move on.

Not long after my arrival at the coffee shop, Tammi said hi to a patron who had just entered the shop. When I turned around I was staring at a uniformed, on-duty member of the Kansas City Police Department. (he confirmed that Cops hover at QuikTrip)

Being the punchy charmer that I am, I joked a bit to break the ice (okay, maybe it was a joke about saving a cat from a tree which means I’ve confused my uniformed rescue operatives, but I HADN’T HAD MY COFFEE YET). And then he took out his notebook. Dude, wait, what?

Apparently, policemen’s are now awarded points for meeting citizens. I may be receiving a call from the policeman’s supervisor to confirm that we did, in fact meet. Dear Supervisoring Police Person of Interest, this is to declare that I did in fact meet, or actually he met me, Officer Mark Carrel on July 25th at The Friendly Bean. We all chatted about our Blackberries and Officer Mark taught us many valuable items about the law and being responsible citizens. We also discovered that everyone knows Officer John Lozano. (I met him while working at KCPD Headquarters the summer after my freshman year of college.) I digress…

Somehow, my appearance (I PRETTY!) became an unlawful act. It’s true. It SHOULD be illegal to look this good so maybe I should have been arrested for disturbing the peace or “the piece.” *wink wink*

Our new buddy, Mark indicated that I was not in fact disturbing the peace and would not be arrested.

Can’t win em all.

1. drinking Ballerina tea
2. staying in bed an extra 10 minutes
3. eating a second piece of cake
4. saying I love you
5. staying up until 3am to finish a great book
6. adopting 2 kittens
7. being too honest on your blog
8. staying up late and getting up early on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day
9. wearing a little too much makeup (rawr!)
10. waking up early to get some work done
11. spending time on your hair and makeup
12. an extra bit of time on the treadmill
13. saying yes to a tight deadline
14. joining Weight Watchers (and sticking to it!) or counting calories
15. making lists
16. saving for a down payment on a house
17. not buying the iPhone even though you have the money because of #16
18. singing out loud
19. chair dancing

Have you ever thought about panties?

Knickers. Undies. Satin, silk, cotton, lycra, edible, lace.

My favorite pair was red with lace trim and a keyhole and a bow in back. They were comfortable and made me feel confident and sexy. I’m not quite sure where they ended up.* (not that they’d fit now anyway)

What do panties say about the wearer?

Our culture seems to segregate and stereotype based on a woman’s preference. If you like cotton, full-coverage briefs you wear granny panties and get categorized as an asexual being. But, please recall Bridget Jones pair of enormous stomach holding in panties that not only got her laid, but actually seemed to be a turn-on for her partner. I think nowadays we think of the granny panties as the one week a month staple. But these are the classic panty, much like the “tighty whitey” for men. Use in moderation.

Conversely, the thong is for “loose” girls. They scream voyeurism and wreak of sexual desire and experience. That’s probably why I freaked out when my 12 year old cousin bought a pair. It seemed like she was being sexualized far too young. (yes, I’ve read Lolita.) Truly, the thong is a fashion necessity. There are just certain garments that require you wear a thong to reduce pantyline exposure. I think most women find these uncomfortable because they buy the wrong size, which creates the butt-floss issues. *shiver*

See Panties Here
*likely a victim of the washer or dryer