Tremendous Blondette

Sometimes I have the urge to randomly speak in French. Unfortunately, I do not actually speak French. I know a few choice phrases and vocabulary words, but can’t really string a coherent thought together in that lovely foreign tongue.

I’ve just missed a new episode of Grey’s Anatomy because I was at work and so engaged in what I was doing that I forgot about my shlumpy Thursday night agenda (go home, get in jammies, eat Lean Pockets, lie on couch watching Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy, go to bed.) I feel a new sense of purpose and hope that I desperately needed after the past few days for I have new ideas and projects to create. (more on that at some point) That’s right- the floodgates opened for me tonight. I think I’ve found a way to satisfy my passions and prove myself.

It’s only the second day of the work week for me as I was out sick Monday and Tuesday- I developed strep throat over the weekend and then I was graced with a cold on Monday. Now that my glands are mostly de-swelled and my neck and head mainly pain free, and most importantly, now that my appetite has returned (I lost 5 pounds in the few days I was sick- *sigh*) I can get back to my normal routine- JUST IN TIME FOR THE WEEKEND! I’m still croaky and such, but getting better. (although, I was not feeling so much better this morning when I snapped at everyone who dared approach my desk with a question. and my tummy isn’t feeling so hot after eating my Lean Pockets and taking my penicillin.)

I’m getting ready to start my Christmas shopping (an email from Target tells me they have free shipping on 50,000+ gifts), but that means I have to figure out what to get for people. I like to give one main gift and a couple smaller items. In fact, I have a standard gift that I give my brother and stepdad each year. They know it’s coming. Each year. (it’s a little desk calender. You know, the kind that have riddles, jokes, trivia, or facts on them for each day? those. that’s what they get–each year.)

I am also a stocking aficionado. I love them and I feel compelled to stuff them. It’s what drives me to get up at 3am and drive to my parents’ house and tend to the gift placement and stocking filling. The year before last I got to listen to Mannheim Steamroller do a Christmas special during my drive. Only to nap for a few hours on the couch amid the glow of the lit Christmas weed and flickering of “A Christmas Story” on tv.

What I really and truly most want for Christmas, only I’m not sure I can wait that long: running shoes. (this one or this one.) I’ve wanted a pair of Nike Shox for ages. I’m not quite sure why I never bought a pair except for the hundred plus dollar price tag. I guess partly because after I got out of my normal workout routine, I figured it would be wasted money because they’d just sit in the gym bag on my bedroom floor. But maybe, just maybe I’d want to wear them so bad, and maybe just maybe, they’d be that little extra boost that made me excited or less dready about going to the gym after work.

I guess we all have themes in life. Mine are finding an occupation that makes me happy, getting my healthiness back on track (working out and eating right), and finding that family I want.

Happy Thursday. I know you missed me.

In 1998 I started my senior year of high school. It also happened that a new show about a girl named Felicity Porter came out. Maybe it was the timing or my own personal angst, but the show soon became my favorite. I also already had an affection for Keri Russell (yep, I watched her in Malibu Shores–her hair was longer then.)

Last weekend I watched the entire first season of Felicity on DVD. Six disks.

Amazing the things that you notice 10 years later and 10 years older. I’ve now graduated college and worked for several years. The issues that are addressed in the show are things that I experienced too. From debating your major, to financial aid, to navigating dorms and university bureaucracy, to friendships, to simple right vs wrong. I’ve lived it. When the show came out I was awaiting the journey. I lived some of the issues parallel to the show- only I didn’t get to watch the show when I moved to college because the station that carried it disappeared so I didn’t see the episodes until a bit later.

Why did Felicity have so many heavy sweaters if she was from Palo Alto, CA? Why is she seen in the first episode wearing one such sweater? Even if the semester began in September, it wouldn’t be cold enough to merit a sweater.

I pay more attention to the characters- which one would I be? Which of the men in the show would I go for? In high school, I was all about Noel. But now? I don’t know. I’ve also always had a thing for Sean. He was so under-appreciated. I want to be a Ben/Felicity fan, but I’m just not. At least not in Season One. Eventually, I come around and like it better, but I just love Noel, but he was in a sort of helpless position. I mean, Felicity followed Ben to New York. You don’t just do that. You don’t just forget that.

And Julie? Well, frankly, I was never her biggest fan. I like her okay, but she seems to end up being the victim. A LOT.

From the First Season
The Leading Ladies:
Felicity, Julie, Elana, Megan, Hannah.

The Leading Men:
Noel, Ben, Sean, Richard, Lyn

I care about people, I battle my path, I hold on to dreams (woo being a romantic idealist!), I’m likable, and I’m a little geeky. It’s funny I always thought I was a Felicity, but when I sat and thought about it, I realized I’m not just her, but Sean.

My salute to writer’s block. I’ve taken some quiz thingies from the internet in hopes to entertain.

How much was gas when you started driving?
I have no idea. I suppose if I search the net I could find out how much gas cost in 1997. I know I could take $3 to QT and have enough gas to get to Leavenworth and back.

Did you ever own a record player?
darn tootin! and my favorite record was Rainbow Brite.

What year did you graduate high school?
1999

Do you own any Oldies Music? If so, what?
yep. I have classical (we didn’t specify what we are counting as oldies), big band, etc. oh and Lesley Gore.

Where did you go on your first date?
I should know this, huh? but I don’t.

Do or did you own a pair of roller skates?
i don’t recall. I may have when I was wee, but i could be hallucinating

Have you ever played skip-it?
nope

Do you remember moon shoes?
yes

Did you ever do the Macarana dance?
at my mom and Bob’s wedding!

What was your first pet’s name?
Smokey

Have you ever dyed your hair a weird color?
Sangria is about as weird as I’ve gotten

Did you ever play four square?
yes I did

What about Hopscotch?
yep! I even drew the chalk squares

Or Dodgeball?
yeah. not my fave.

Have you ever won a goldfish at the fair?
nope

where did you meet your best friend?
which one? I have a few from over the years. Current? work.

Do you know how to do the Electric Slide?
nope. though I had to pretend a couple weeks ago. I just kick and pivot and shimmy and sway.

Did you like strawberry or chocolate milk better?
strawberry milk has always repulsed me. Chocolate all the way

What was your favorite food as a kid?
hot dogs and grilled cheese sandwiches

What was the 1st video game console you owned?
well, my dad had a mini game but I forgot what it was. First one that was mine was the old 8-bit Nintendo

How old were you when you got your first car?
16

What was your 1st job?
other than babysitting? 1 day at Things Remembered. Then I worked at Hy-Vee.

Have you ever had a fuzzy steering wheel?
nope

Have you ever made rice krispy treats?
yep

How old were you when you got a house key?
no clue. I was a latchkey kid. pretty sure i always had one…

Ever met Geoffrey the giraffe?
nope

Did the robots on the chuck-e-cheese stage scare you?
heck yeah. even the pictures of the parties scare me.

What was the first roller-coaster your rode?
ummm, I don’t do roller coasters. I’ve only written the wussy ones.

What is your favorite arcade game?
:-S Golden Tee is okay. uh, yeah…race cars? I prefer darts.

Who was your first sleepover with?
Joanna?

Have you ever had a really big stuffed animal from the fair?
no

If so, who won it for you?
n/a

What is your favorite ride at the fair?
none. I hate fair rides. unless it’s on a horse, elephant or another animal. I once rode this octypus thing at the fair in Oregon and screamed, screamed, screamed to be let off. And Brian’s wallet got stolen and found in a toilet. It was a great day.

What’s the best fair food?
fried green tomatoes

How old were you when you got your piercings / tattoos?
got my ears pierced really young–then there was the repiercing. Tattoo #1 when I was 19

What were your high school colors?
red and black (and white)

How long can you make it on a pogo stick?
I do not know. Give me one and let’s find out.

Did you have a red wagon?
yes

Did you have a motor powered fisher price car?
no.

Did you ride the school bus? Was it short?
yes. at one point I also took a cab to school. Yay bussing!

What was your favorite toy as a kid?
Barbies

Do you remember the ‘My Buddy/Kid Sister’ theme song?
oh yes.

What do you miss most about your childhood?
nothing

Have you seen every episode of Full House?
it’s possible.

Where there any shows you were forbidden to watch as a kid?
not that I recall

Do you have a limit as to how much tv you could watch per day
nope

Were you allowed to have sweets before dinner?
no idea

Did you parents tell you the walking barefoot, up and down the mountain in the snow to school story?
um, no.

Have you ever been in a perfe​ct relat​ionsh​ip?​
nope. I don’t believe in perfection even though I seek to attain it.

What was the last thing​ you bough​t?​
a couple of candles from Yankee Candle

Do you know when your fathe​r’​s birth​day is?
Nov 29th, 1955 and October 13th, 1959

What was the last movie​ you watch​ed in theat​res?
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist (I’m still buggin about the ending.)

Are you a cuddl​er?​
can be

Do peopl​e hate you?
most do not

What are you liste​ning to?
the ticking of my clock. it’s really loud. people comment on it a lot.

What’​s the reaso​n behin​d your MySpa​ce song?​
I don’t even remember what song I have on there now. Must be very meaningful.

When was the last time you were extre​mely disap​point​ed?​
well, since you say “extremely” I can’t say today. Yesterday though.

Have you ever had a pet fish?​
a few

Is there​ a perso​n of the oppos​ite sex that means​ a lot to you?
sure; I have a family.

Have you ever felt repla​ced?​
yeah

What do you do when you have a bad day?
eat whatever I want, drink, read, lounge, bitch to my friends

Do you ever turn off your cellp​hone?​
rarely. it’s usually only to reboot. I’m a bit of an addict.

Have you heard​ a song that remin​ds you of anyon​e today​?​
yep

Do you liste​n to love songs​ when you’r​e down?​
most songs are love songs. so yes.

Do you say sorry​ first​?​
yeah.

Who were you with last night​?​
my cats.

Do you want to tell someo​ne how you feel?​
I think everyone I know knows I feel about them–because I tell them.

Would​ your paren​ts be mad if you were in a relat​ionsh​ip?​
no, in fact, Mom would be happy. And she’s probably start buying more stuff for her currently non-existent grandkids.

If you could​ cuddl​e with anyon​e right​ now who would​ you pick?​
I am so NOT answering that. No matter what I say, I’m going to be laughed at.

What’​s irrit​ating​ you right​ now?
my nose is feeling the tickle of this new Butter Rum candle. There’s something in a lot of scented candles that really irritates my passages, but I can’t always tell until after I light the thing.

What are you doing​ today​?​
well, it’s almost 7pm. I putzed around and worked today. I’ll probably turn on the debate. If I get sick of that, there’s always movies.

Are you tanne​d?​
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

What were you up to at 11 pm last night​?​
Reading in bed.

What happe​ned at 10:​00 am today​?​
I was working at 10am today.

How many hours​ did you sleep​ last night​?​
8-9

Does anyon​e call you boo?
nope. but we used to call Brian boo-boo!

Would​ you get marri​ed if you could​ right​ now?
hmmmm

Are you in a good mood?​
i’m fair

If someo​ne were to tell you they like you right​ now, would​ you care?​
sure.

Where​ did you last sleep​ other​ than your house​?​
a hotel in MN

Who was the last perso​n you cried​ in front​ of?
no idea. I don’t typically cry in front of other people.

Do you get 8 hours​ of sleep​ every​ day?
heck no

Are you a forgi​ving perso​n?​
extremely

Do you belie​ve what goes aroun​d comes​ aroun​d?​
karma, yep

Who was the last perso​n you ate with?​
Tammi and Angela

When was the last time you saw your dad?
which one? 1997 and a couple weeks ago

Are you mad about​ anyth​ing?​
right now, nope

Do you miss anyon​e?​
yep

Do you have any bruis​es?​
yep, always.

What makes​ you like a perso​n?​
the person

Do you sing in the showe​r?​
wanna find out?

Do you drink​ more water​ or juice​?​
water, yo

Are you the same perso​n as you were at the begin​ning of 2008?​
no

Is there​ someo​ne on your mind that shoul​dn’​t be?
yep

Have you ever kisse​d anyon​e whose​ name that start​ed with J M S C A N L K?
I’m really bad at this game. Next.

Have you done anyth​ing you regre​t in 2008 so far?
oh my yes

Is there​ any emoti​on you’​re tryin​g to avoid​ right​ now?
i do tend to avoid sorrow

If you could​ be hangi​ng with anyon​e right​ now who would​ it be?

Do you belie​ve that if you want somet​hing bad enoug​h you’​ll get it?
yes

Do you have any plans​ for tomor​row?​
I’m going to sit around and wait for the maintenance people to see if they really do come and change my air filter and check my smoke detector.

Somet​hing you’​re happy​ about​?​
autumn

Is there​ somet​hing you wish you could​ tell someo​ne but can’​t?​
yep

What color​ shirt​ are you weari​ng?​
pink

When did your last hug take place​?​
i know a couple of thursdays ago…maybe something since then

Where​ did your last kiss take place​?​
oh that I do not recall. I’m lame.

Are you a jealo​us perso​n?
yep

The bag I adore is once again price slashed online:

http://www.oldnavy.com/browse/product.do?cid=37582&pid=594255&scid=594255012

It might be time to buy. It is now officially cheaper to purchase online than at the store. (but maybe I should do a run through of Old Navy just in case.) ($19.50 + tax at the store $14.99 + tax online; and yes, that online cost already includes shipping.)

I still want to try and make my own. To prove I can. It seems a common theme in my life (think being vegan, knitting, and other fine tests of strength.)

PS. This bag totally goes with my bedroom decor. kinda. And I don’t really need it. *sigh*

I look at life like a book or movie. I’m the main character of my book, and there’s a plot built around me. I’ve always believed I was one particular archetype character, but now I think I was wrong.

I think I’m so smart. I’m not. One of my greatest personal challenges is to accept that I am human and make mistakes, but to also realize when I’m doing something that I will later regret–and then stop doing it. But, what if I am enjoying myself at the time? That ice cream tastes good! The booze feels nice! Those jokes were funny. right?

After I read “The Devil Wears Prada” I started a post about the book and how I compare to the main character. I saw myself (only thinner and with more uncomfortable clothes) in that book–and a lot of it was skewed–as a young woman just beginning a career, you have to adjust your life to the new demands, timelines, and expectations (just as you do when you enter high school or college.) Prada is an extreme example. So, I’m not the Andie character.

I’m not the heroine. I’m not the femme fatale. I’m not the spinster–or am I?

In my mind, I see my book. I see my movie. At least some of it. I could sit here and outline–i’d have to flesh out all the details like how I met my husband, etc etc, but I could. I could write 80 variations. But then I come back around to, “am I the character I think I am?”

My character lacks discipline. She knows what she wants and of what she is capable. She just doesn’t hold herself to her goals and standards. Thus, she does not achieve that which she seeks to attain. Because she’s not trying.

# (chemistry) a substance that initiates or accelerates a chemical reaction without itself being affected
# something that causes an important event to happen
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

I tend to believe that we should not make major life decisions while under the influence of anything but ourselves. That is to say, don’t decide to change your life while drunk, high, hungover, brokenhearted, euphoric, or extremely tired.

But, isn’t this when most of us do make these major life decisions? Something has to push us to change. The force that drives the change, the catalyst, must exist. If it’s not one of the above, what else is it? Is it a one too many meetings where you realize you are no longer engaged or buying in? Is it an epiphany that allows you to see the world as it is–realistically, instead of as you desire it to be. Now, a point of contention here from your friendly local idealist–we have to be able to see the world as we desire it, else we have no hope, no vision of what could be better, nor are we prepared for what could be worse. Not that I think people should dwell on the negative but I do believe we must face the potential.

No one really wants to read another blog about me and my lapsed fitness. But, too bad.

I realized today as I put on my fat skirt, truly seeing myself in the mirror, that I never figured out how to be fit in my current lifestyle. I think back to the shape of my days when I was in my prime–get up, drink coffee and check the internet, purge, work out, eat lunch (Subway, a smoothie and honey wheat pretzels, or a salad) while watching daytime tv or playing on the internet while listening to music, shower, get dressed and go to work.

So, my days are bit different now. I get up between 5 and 6am, shower, maybe do my hair and makeup–depends what time it is and how early my first meeting is, and head to work–where I will remain until 6, 7, 8, or 9pm. If I do leave between 5:30 and 6:30, it’s usually because I’m going to work from home.

I ask, where is the time for the gym? Why haven’t I made it a priority after all the blog posts, resolutions, and realizations? Is it really that hard to leave work at 5:30 and go to the gym? Nope. Really. It’s not. So why don’t I?

This is the question I am pondering today.

I do some of my best work in the wee hours of the morning. I’m no longer tired. The time is wavering between 2 and 3am, I’ve watched several late night talk shows, Scrubs, and now all that’s left are infomericals and world news. And I’m still working on this research and analysis. At one point I got very tired and wasn’t sure I’d finish. I also took a break between dinner and starting on this write up. The whole thing evolved as I began. I’m now working on algebraic equations and statistics. I love math.

Not the most exciting blog post ever, but it may explain any odd behavior on Wed, Sept 24th.

Okay, it’s just about 3:30am and I need to be up by 6:30am so I better tottle to bed!

Apparently, my cats don’t think I feed them enough. (morning, when I get home from work, and before bed.) I keep their food in a closed cabinet in my kitchen.

Tonight:

This lady might be kind of crazy, but my cats were all searching for the other “cat” when I played the clips, so either she recorded real cats, or she’s just that good.

Crazy Cat Lady Talks to Cats aka Cat Whisperer

I’d love to hear from anyone with dogs about how they react.