Tremendous Blondette

We’re not meant to go back in time except in our memories. If we were all still sitting in our pajamas in the cozy hallway of the 4th floor at Kentwood Hall, we’d be laughing and acting this scene out by now. But, we’re grown up, graduated, and moved on to different lives and different cities. So instead, we’re chatting about it on Facebook IM. Me in my purple thermal jammies in my Kansas City apartment (with a kitten on my lap!) and Carrie in Springfield sipping her Sam Adams or Merlot.

We rarely get the opportunity to chat these days so we have to make the most it when we do. Tonight, after catching up on the current events in our lives, we easily slid into silly girltalk. We discussed the joy that is scratchers tickets (Carrie likes the Bingo ones best and my stepdad likes to put them in our stockings at Christmas–there you are caught up) and the sadness of being in line at the lottery winnings place (does it have a name?) behind someone who is claiming a $200 prize when you were happy about your $5 winnings.

I decided the lottery winnings place would be a prime place to meet a guy–a guy with cash. No, I’m not a goldigging skank, but let’s be realistic, a man who can support himself and has a little extra cash is generally a more appealing (potential) mate than a man with no dinero.

So, why not try to pick up a cute guy in line at the lottery winnings claiming place? Why not go for the gold? Why not spin the wheel of love? (too much?)

Sample pick up lines:
“i see you’ve recently come into some cash. wanna buy me a drink?’

“wanna buy me another chance at my jackpot?”

“and you thought all you won was $50″

“i hope you didn’t steal that because you already stole my heart.”

“wanna rub a few bucks together?”

“wanna see your return on investment?”

*note, some of these lines can be modified to be dirty, not just innuendo-y! We’re so versatile in our tacky creativity.

In fact, to really do it right you’d need to get all glammed up, maybe be checking out with some strawberries and champagne, and just strike a conversation. It would be completely normal, right? IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME, RIGHT? oh, wait.

Obviously, someone would have to tape this brilliant display/debacle and the witnesses would be dying laughing. In fact, this may sound like a stereotype and I hope this isn’t taken in an offensive manner, but I would pray that there’s a big black lady and maybe one of her friends in that line or nearby because they would ham it up. Really, any innocent bystanders would just add to the overall merriment.

Of course, neither of us think we are truly brave enough to actually do this. Maybe we could get the third member of our posse, the LBC, to do it. I am of course referring to Gentri. Carrie and I would whisper, “Let’s see if G will do it.” (and yes, in college we really did–excuse me, DO– have a posse called the LBC. We had a meeting night and special glasses among other things.)

Thus tonight, after giggling (haha-ing) about how we’d have to be drunk to do this, Carrie proposed that we all get together some weekend, video tape the scenario, but have Nick be the winner, and show “how to meet guys with cash” with us going after him. We’ll be famous on the YouTube. Imagine it with me, “The LBC Presents: How to Meet Guys With Cash.” We’ll be the next big meme. But this time around, we’re upgrading from Busch Light.