Toothpaste and Tripping
I’ve been sending my friends hilarious text messages about my new toothpaste. Truly, it is the best toothpaste ever! I was however, intrigued to discover upon reading the directions, that you are supposed to use a one inch strip of paste. This resulted in me dribbling on myself and looking like rabies girl. But, it was worth it! My teeth felt so clean! and my breath so fresh! So last night when I brushed my teeth, I was quite focused on applying the correct amount of toothpaste to the bristles of my toothbrush. In my quest for direction-following perfection, I somehow managed to get toothpaste in my eye. When you get toothpaste in your eye, no matter how magnificent the paste, it stings. So please now picture this: Me, in my nightshirt squinting and blinking, toothbrush with paste in my right hand, two kittens in the sink being shooed by my free hand as I try to turn on the water so I can flush the toothpaste from my eye. Yes. I know.
This morning, in my haste to relieve myself, I tripped while running up the stairs to the ladies room. It was nearly witnessed.
And then I killed a giant cockroach.
