Tremendous Blondette

The theme song to “China Beach” rings in my head as I contemplate the state of my life. Last Thursday*, during a meeting with my boss (who happens to be the president of the company)–a meeting in which I was expecting to be yelled at, extensively–he suddenly broke character when he noticed the scratches on my arm.

My boss wants me to get a life, and more specifically, a man. He’s moved on past “get a hobby” to “get a man or you’ll end up like my unmarried sister with 5 cats (HEY, I ONLY HAVE 3!) living in a 3 bedroom condo (as if! I totally can’t afford a 3 bedroom condo, yo.)”

I am successful at a great many things. Relationships with men, not at all. That side of my life has always been a little bit stunted and messy (read that how you will.) I’ve basically given up. My current focus is on myself, my career, and my cats. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING CATS! (I’m telling myself as much as all of you.) Okay, really, the only thing I’ve focused on is work, keeping my cats alive, and wondering how to find and fit someone else into my life and whether any man would want to be found and fit with me. Strangely, I’m feeling less than fulfilled with my life.

“Reflection love, the way life used to be…” (this is the way I hear it–I think it really goes: “reflections of, the way life used to be”)

Once again, I’m reflecting. I know you’ve all just had coronaries because it’s just so shocking that I’d reflect on my life (it’s sort of egotastic to think about oneself so much, isn’t it?)

I want shoes. I want accessories. I want a new bed. I want pretty new clothes. I want someone else to do my laundry and dishes. I want to figure out how to have all these things, a career, and a healthy relationship.

I do want balance between my work and outside life, but I find it very difficult to focus on taking care of myself. You see, I am a “giver.” I give myself to my employer. (not in that way yo!) I give myself to my friends. What’s left is me saying “hey, it’s okay to slack on giving to yourself.” (ha.) I overcompensate by indulging in the wrong ways. I think a sex binge with a monogomous partner would be much healthier than a few nights at OFR, but that takes me back to problem number one.

*(this is now about a month or two ago because I started this and put it aside)

I’m so tired that my jaw hurts. Where am I? I’m currently sitting beside a lovely pebble filled cement pillar at the Las Vegas airport. I’ve been in Las Vegas on business since Tuesday. I attended a major annual industry convention that represents 80-90% of our agency’s business. My opinions of the actual conference and of Las Vegas differ greatly.

The conference itself was fantastic. In fact, to me, it feels like that part is over just when I’m getting warmed up. (that could also be because I wish I could play Guitar Hero some more.) I met with a lot of clients, prospects, and vendors. I did not party (based on the fact that I didn’t feel so great and I had so many meetings.)

I saw the fountains at the Bellagio. I ate at the Four Seasons. I walked the strip in 100 degree heat. I got lost inside Planet Hollywood and The Mandalay Bay. I saw half naked women dancing in cages.

Based on this trip, I’m not a fan of Vegas, but I think it’s unfair of me to judge solely on this experience. After all, I was broke and being all stressy about hitting my meeting times.

So here I am at OFR-yes, that’s right I’m blogging on my cell phone. BE AFRAID!

My brain wants me to post that the following songs are on my all-time best songs list:

• The Way You Look Tonight
• Moondance
• Layla

I may have to add to this, but my brain is satisfied having released this information.

I lost 2 pounds on Friday.

Here are the two pictures I took before I lost the ability to properly take pictures.

I’m making a stupid face in this picture–I hate this expression. Unfortunately, it appears frequently on my face. *sigh* ugliness

Here’s a more flattering picture–IT’S BLURRY!

There’s a man with a “stage” voice sitting across the room from me at the coffee shop, where I am diligently working and trying to get caught up on my timesheet. My extended life battery has 30% of its juice (approx 1:04 hours) remaining and I’m using it’s precious time to rant. I feel like Prospero’s sitting next to me and it’s quite distracting. I wonder how the study group a the table beside him feels about the booming nature of his voice? He may be a teacher based on his topic of discussion and because it seems he enjoys the sound of his own voice. It’s like me when I’ve had a few drinks. WOOOO! I AM INTERESTING! LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN! Well dude, I can’t help but listen, you have a voice like a boom-cannon. Yes, even with the country music chiming, study group studying, the barista’s bantering, blending, and grinding, and my nails clacking lightly on the soft keys of my laptop I can still hear you.

Oh, wait. You were a band director and you’re laughing about your “Salute to Gasoline.” I’m sure you’re a nice guy, but man…don’t make me go Pre-School Teacher on you–INSIDE VOICES!!!!!!!!

Or, my unhealthy relationship with Reese Witherspoon’s hair.

I think this is my inspiration picture for tomorrow. Maybe.

Or maybe one of these:

oh, guess you have to wait til tomorrow to see what I decided!!! Thanks everyone for their votes and opinions.

A couple of weekends ago, I lost a game of Scrabble to my 12 year old cousin. (actually, he doesn’t turn 12 until December, but come on, like I’m going to admit to losing a game of word power and strategy to an eleven year old? As if! –and yes, I’m channeling Cher from Clueless. It’s based on Emma you know. And that’s real literature!) For some reason, people assume I enjoy the game of Scrabble. I think it’s because I love words and find pleasure in reading the dictionary. I even got bored one night and started text messaging random words and definitions to people. I had a great time. My journeys though the dictionary lead me to words like “akimbo.” I still remember when I learned what it meant to stand with arms akimbo. It adds a whole new slant to literature.

Unfortunately, I must debunk this myth that I enjoy the game called Scrabble. In fact, I find Scrabble very un-fun. I’m slow and indecisive, or as I prefer to call it “methodical.” I don’t like to be rushed or pressured. I like to evaluate all options. I often am able to build words with 5-7 of my letters at once, reliant of course on “that perfect place to lay down.” I get quietly cranky that I most often cannot play these words.

So what’s the real reason I don’t enjoy Scrabble so much? It makes me feel dumb. People expect me to be quite good and in reality, I think I’m just average. That disappoints the chip on my shoulder.

Why did I feel compelled to share this uninteresting fact? I don’t really know. But hey, at least it’s not a top 10 list.

PS. I <3 Trivia and 20 Questions and Botticelli and Clue.

You may have noticed the new header on my blog. Featured in 2 of the pictures (along with me) is my brother, Brian. Please take a moment to oh and ah over how adorable we were. “ohhhhhh, ahhhhh”

Done? already? But, I’m covered in chocolate pudding and enjoying it immensely! And did you see the one where I’ve got my butt up in the air?

So, taking a page from Tammi, I’m posting about 10 things I learned from my brother (Hi BooBoo!!!) I couldn’t completely copy her, being that I don’t have a sister. (well, I have 2 stepsisters, but I’ve only met them once.)

10 Things I Learned from My Brother

1. Dryer lint is an accelerant. You can use it to start or rekindle a hesitant fire.
2. Lifting your middle finger and putting the rest down is called “flipping the bird.” Don’t show your dad.
3. How to build a computer.
4. A fantastic line of expletives that I simply cannot post. but it still makes me laugh. (and yes, i will recite it for you if you ask)
5. Cheap whiskey isn’t so bad.
6. How to drive a car with manual transmission. (yeah, I was careful on that wording because I just don’t do incest jokes…a lot.)
7. You’re the “social” Leas child. Scary since you’re an introvert.
8. How to change your oil and pretty much any and all car maintainence that you pretend you don’t know.
9. What all those noises are on the airplane.
10. How to pack a car.

North Oak Trafficway and 152 West– it’s like Jaws! doo doo doot doot!