Tremendous Blondette

My battle begins with my ideal of a leisurely Sunday morning that starts promptly at 8am with CBS Sunday Morning, a nice breakfast of something like an omelette and fresh brewed coffee. Add in the Sunday paper full of glorious ads and the crossword puzzle and helllllooo nurse! (if you didn’t get that reference please see: Animaniacs)

In fact as I sit here writing, I receive a call from the KC Star, the second in 2 days that I happened to pick up. Yes, they are thanking me for being a long time subscriber (I’ve subscribed since April or May of this year I believe–I don’t really remember because after about 2 weeks my papers stopped showing up; then interestingly enough a couple months later, a neighbor moved and suddenly I was getting the paper again.)

Once the paper started showing up on a regular basis I was alarmed to learn that I was not just receiving the Saturday and Sunday editions, but the Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday editions. Well, this is NOT what I signed up for. I had been tossing the idea around in my head for a few months when I happened upon a representative from the KC Star at my local grocery store. I caught him, or I should say, he caught me, as he was packing up and as I was exiting the store. I knew I was going to say yes to the Sunday paper, but I was firm in my desire only to receive the paper on the weekends. NO MORE. “but you can take it to work.” “No. It will just sit around. I will not read the paper on weekdays. Do NOT sign me up for weekdays.”

I began receiving the Thurs-Sunday paper. Each paper in its plastic sleeve sat, either in front of my door, (yay, not even making it inside my apartment!) or it sat in box by the cat’s dishes. They were not read. They were not opened. Some lucky pieces ended up in my cat’s litter box.

Now, the Kansas City Star has informed me that for being a loyal customer they are going to send me the paper every day of the week. YIPPEE. It took me 6 months to throw out the box of unread papers. I began taking them to the dumpster or work with me in the morning. Sigh. I tried to tell them no.

I implore you KC Star, take NO for an answer. I know much of your subscriber base for the daily paper is dying off, but there are ways to combat and innovate. You do not have to die simply because your readers are. And you do not have to thrust your inky business upon those of us who have chosen only light readership.